2023 | Manh Nguyen

1. Change

Everything around us is constantly changing, from the environment and objects around us to the people we meet, new relationships, dream jobs or even our own thoughts, our bodies as we grow older.

As we grow up, our emotions as well as our eagerness gradually change over time. We can be happy just because we ate ice cream as children, worried about semester exams, or bored when we got bad grades. However, at some point, when we look back, we will no longer have that feeling, perhaps we will smile because we remember many things or perhaps because we have changed.

However, I think the most certain thing is the love of parents for their children. Before, I thought it was natural for parents to treat their children well. It wasn’t until we got married that I realized that was true, and I also realized that it’s natural for parents to treat their children well, but don’t expect to be treated the opposite way. That is, children should never treat their parents the way parents treat their children, and parents should not have the idea of forcing their children to have those obligations.

a. Characteristics of change

Change is natural, inevitable, necessary. We go through stages - some notable, some nearly invisible to anyone but ourselves - and each one implies a necessary evolution. Without it we stagnate and things that stagnate are not really alive.

Change is frightening because it means leaving a place where you feel safe to go to a place you are not familiar with. Even if the place where you are at no longer works, even if it does not make you happy, your instinct is to stay because the act of leaving is processed in your brain as danger.

People change because of their circumstances and situations. People grow from their pains. People learn from their pain. People attain maturity from the worst phases they have undergone.

c. How to deal with change?

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Prepare yourself and taking proactive steps toward dealing with changes is a better way to take control and feel empowered.

Change often happens when you don’t expect it, so keeping an eye on the future and preparing yourself, at least mentally, might be helpful. Spend some time thinking about events that are coming up in the future that may lead to changes or disruptions.

For example, if you know that you will be switching jobs, moving, or helping an aging parent, there are steps you can take now that will make those transitions less stressful. You might:

Create checklists of things you need to do before the event happens
Save money to avoid financial stress during times of transition
Talk to career planning or financial professionals about your goals
Discuss what will happen in the event of an emergency
Make conscious choices about what you want to change in your life

When you are the one to initiate a change, there’s a stronger chance that you’ll feel like you have more control over what’s going to happen. It is often the unexpected changes in your life—whether it’s a job loss, divorce, or death of a loved one—that can leave you feeling afraid and unsure of what will happen.

One thing you should avoid doing is relying on avoidance coping techniques when you are confronted with stressful changes. When you use avoidance coping, you try to avoid the stress instead of dealing with it. While avoidance can sometimes reduce stress in the short term, it actually increases stress and anxiety in the long term. For example, avoiding coping might lead you to stay in a job you hate or a relationship that makes you unhappy because you are afraid of dealing with the stress of making a significant change in your life. Avoiding that change, however, will inevitably lead to more stress and unhappiness down the road.

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Change How You Think

The way you think about change plays a major role in determining how well you deal with it. Automatic negative thinking patterns can undermine your ability to focus on the positive. When negative thoughts bog you down, it is more challenging to have faith in your coping abilities. Shifting your mindset to be more positive and hopeful can help you feel more resilient and capable.

For example, if you see a change as something that is upsetting the balance of your life, chances are that you’re going to find it much more challenging to handle that change effectively. It’s more empowering to shift that perspective to focus more on your strengths and abilities to adapt. This way, you might see the positives that come out of the situation or believe in your ability to survive and thrive through change.

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Maintain Routines: Keep up your regular schedule as much as possible

When the world is changing all around you, holding on to some sense of normalcy can be a useful way to minimize stress and find comfort. Research has found that maintaining routines can help people get a better handle on symptoms of stress and anxiety.

Simple things like going to bed and waking up at the same time each morning can provide you with a sense of structure, even if it feels like other areas of your life are less predictable. Other activities you might want to incorporate into your daily routine that may help your mental well-being during times of transition include:

Getting regular physical activity
Eating healthy meals
Getting plenty of rest each night
Creating realistic daily goals
Carving out moments for relaxation techniques like mindfulness or deep breathing

The routine that works for you depends on your own situation and needs. Think about the habits and daily activities that bring you comfort and peace and try to work some of those into your day, even if you are dealing with difficult or dramatic shifts in your life.

Everything will change. Nothing will stay the same. Be prepared and adaptable.

2. The key to success is discipline, effort, and daily progressive thinking

I am currently quite satisfied with what I have: a pretty happy small family, being able to do my dream job and quite actively arranging to spend time playing my favorite sports. And I realized, the secret for me to achieve such “success” is discipline, perseverance and a better way of thinking every day.

a. Running

From a person who was lazy and couldn’t run continuously for 15 minutes, I completed my first FM distance after 3 years of running. Of course, the achievement is nothing to talk about or brag about, what I think I get back the most is a positive change both physically and in my way of thinking. The detailed process and milestones I wrote in my previous blog.

Discipline in running is shown in the fact that I will try to participate in jogging as much as possible, regardless of whether the weather is sunny, rainy, noon, evening or early morning. In addition, I will try to improve my running through increasing distance or increasing speed, thereby finding and challenging my limits. However, this process will encounter many problems sometimes unforeseen. It could be your own lack of endurance, discouragement when you don’t reach your goals, possible injuries during training or realizing you’re not really suitable for this sport. This requires a lot of patience to experiment and pursue before going the long way with this exciting subject.

b. Swimming

During the summer of 2023, I made tremendous progress in swimming that I have not had for a long time. The starting point was knowing how to swim breaststroke about 100m. This summer I was determined to practice freestyle swimming to the fullest. As I learned at that time, swimming well is not easy, it takes a lot of time, because it requires flexible coordination of many parts. At the same time, there was a big difficulty that I chose to self-study. To overcome this problem, I had to go to the swimming pool regularly, every day setting small goals such as how many laps I could swim or correct my technique in certain areas. In addition, I often ask or take videos of myself to evaluate how the quality is at the end of the day and aim to correct little by little or learn new techniques for the next swim sessions.

Finally, after 2 summer months (June and July, 2023), I swam 1km in a continuous pool. This was an important milestone for me - and it was at that moment that I thought I had succeeded in “knowing how to swim freestyle”. I also had thoughts of participating in community events like Aquaman or Ironman to challenge myself when swimming in open water, but I realized that now is not the right time when I still have many things need to be improved. In addition, I’m wondering between swimming to exercise, just in the pool, and open water swimming which is somewhat more dangerous.

c. My favorite job

Before becoming a Data Scientist like my current job, I was an electronics engineer. When I first graduated, I was wondering between working and going to graduate school/doing research with a scholarship. This decision stuck with me when I chose to work until I got married. Not because my family doesn’t let me go to school, but because I have more things to balance before making a decision. And so I’ve been working for more than 5 years, not because I no longer like going to graduate school, but now I’m more open to options, as long as it’s a good opportunity.

Going back to the story of changing industries, at that time the term “Machine Learning” was new in Vietnam and there were not many related jobs. My biggest motivation when switching jobs was the desire to apply cool things to solve real-life problems (than the work at the time). In addition, I also recognize more opportunities in software engineering than in electronics. After about 20 interviews, I also got my first job as a Machine Learning engineer at 3S Intersoft - an outsourcing company. I always secretly thank this first job, because I learned a lot from it and it also opened up many other opportunities for me so that the next job transition is not as difficult as the first. I learn more about industry job opportunities and choose the domain that is more suitable for me to go deeper.

My later jobs were all Data Scientist, but I didn’t have to go to interviews as much as the first time, but most of them were introduced. I feel fortunate that in the first years of working, I was able to work in large teams, to understand more about the work and responsibilities of the parties, as well as understand how to operate a team in a reasonable and effective way. Finally, in mid-2022, I was introduced to an opportunity to work remotely for an Australian company and I was accepted, and have remained until now. This job helps me be very proactive in terms of time, perhaps it is the most balanced and fair job I have had. I have learned more and done more for myself and my family, and feel somewhat lucky to have made the right choice and persevered with it.

3. No matter what I do, for me, a happy life means having goals

4. Happiness is a journey, not a destination

Family happiness is achieved through joint efforts and building together, rather than being something attained after marriage or at a specific time like 5 or 10 years. Marriage is not an end, but a new beginning, and both parties must strive to nurture and preserve it, as it is not something that is inherently present.

Happiness is not readily available, nor is it a fixed asset. It can also change as our mindset evolves.

In summary, 2023 has been a successful and memorable year for me. I have had incredible experiences, achieved milestones, and made wise choices.